she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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