Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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