did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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