the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
