69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
