He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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