I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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