Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This is my gift to your gina
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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