If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He has the fingertips of a God
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