I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize