I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
