I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
