Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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