i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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