Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
