by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
