yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He? As in you personified your dick?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
