we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
