Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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