She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
