i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
