remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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