I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
