My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
