THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Terrible idea I love it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
