my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
