But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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