i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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