im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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