I just made out with a guy for $7.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want to make out with him forever
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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