is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
