Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
