just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
