Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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