I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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