meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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