And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
