I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
