Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
