This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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