Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
