talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
