I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
