Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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