Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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