dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
