that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
