Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
