dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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