I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
