Sry I called you an 8
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
