so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
