Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
