I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize