If that was your dad, he is hot
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
