sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
