cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
